America’s in Trouble
America is in trouble. The cost of everything is going up, and wages aren’t keeping pace. And if you think that’s bad, think about trying to live on 90% of what you made in 2013. That’s what retired folks on fixed income are looking at, down 30% in purchasing power in the last twelve years. (For a retired public school teacher; the promised thirteen years of 3% annual Cost of Living Allowance has turned into a total of only 5.5%. That’s 30% less than what was promised – not that I’m complaining!!).
But one side of our political debate chooses to ignore consumer costs and spending, and focus on the tiny fraction (03.3%) of American teenagers that are transgendered (UCLA). Those kids are used as a cudgel, a perceived “threat” to other children, and, according to some, the “The American Way of Life”!
Let me give you a current case, a distraction; demonizing this most vulnerable group of all, transgendered teens.
Wrestling Coach
To start out, I need to explain that I wrestled in Junior High and High School. I was also a wrestling coach at both levels for decades. Like most wrestling coaches, I got on the mat with the kids, it’s the most effective way to coach. Wrestling is the ultimate full-contact sport. One wrestler attempts to gain physical control of the other wrestler, forcing his or her shoulders to the mat for a long enough period of time that the official declares a fall, or what’s called a pin.
Short of pinning someone, wrestling involves a series of actions to assert control over the opponent. Certain actions are assigned points. Taking the other wrestler down to the mat in control is worth two points. Getting away from the controlling wrestler is worth one point. Reversing from controlee to controller is worth two. Getting the opponent into a “near-fall” (nearly pinned) position can be worth two or three points, depending on how long they’re held there.
So you can win by pinning the opponent, or you can win by scoring more points. Even if you have fewer points, a pin always wins. And there are technical rules: you can’t choke, you can’t lock your hands around your opponent’s body down on the mat, you can’t twist against a joint to injury. Violation of rules gives the other opponent points, or can result in disqualification from the match.
Parts is Parts
When I was wrestling and coaching, wrestling was a males-only sport. Today that’s changed, and there is a growing movement of girls wrestling. Regardless, the rules are the same. And whether a girl is wrestling a girl, a boy a boy, (or even, girls versus boys) there is an unspoken rule. There are obvious places or parts that you don’t grab on your opponent. Not only is it against the rules, but both wrestlers are equally vulnerable. So, just because a hand comes across your mouth, you don’t get to bite it. And just because an arm goes into the opponent’s crotch (there’s actually a move called a “high crotch”), it doesn’t mean you grab their private parts.
But it sometimes happens. If you go on the wrestling mat, whatever form of “protection” you might wear, you could get hit in the privates. It’s almost always an accident. If it isn’t, and the official observes, it results in disqualification for unsportsmanlike conduct. But the reality of the sport is: when you’re struggling to gain or get out of control on a mat, things do accidently get touched, pushed, prodded or banged.
But when I was on the bottom, trying to escape, and the boy on top thrust his fingers in my anus, it didn’t feel like an accident. He later joked that he was “checking the oil”. Today, we might call it sexual assault. Back in “that day”, it was definite grounds for a fist fight. And I haven’t forgotten. It happened almost fifty years ago and I can still tell you that boy’s name (now an old man, like me).
Kallie’s Story
Kallie Keller was a sixteen year-old girl wrestling in the state of Washington. She was in a match, down on the mat, when her opponent pressed fingers into her vagina. Neither video of the action, nor the official, can see what happened. But video of Kallie’s expression showed that something was going on that shocked her at that moment during the match.
It’s a different era, and fist-fighting during a wrestling match is even less likely. After the match, Kallie complained both to her parents and the coach.
Like the incident in my match, it’s difficult to tell: was this an intentional sexual assault, or was it “inadvertent contact” in a wrestling situation. The video is online: I can’t tell whether it was accidental or intentional. Ultimately, the County Prosecutor didn’t think he could make a case, and charges were never brought. But the county did bring charges of “failure to report” on both the school’s athletic director and the principal. The prosecutor couldn’t bring charges, but he made it clear that it wasn’t up to the school administrators to make that same determination.
What Matters
Does it matter who was on top of Kallie when this happened? Kallie’s opponent (it was later discovered) is a transgendered girl, but if she was cisgendered, would that make it OK? I didn’t seem “OK” with that boy fifty years ago. I’m sure Kallie felt the same on the mat that day.
As you might expect, all of a sudden this is about “boys in girls’ sports”, not the alleged inappropriate conduct of a wrestler of any gender. The birth gender of the offender doesn’t make a difference. The intent absolutely does.
But for the political tinder fueling our social media fires, gender is really all that’s important. And it distracts us from the very real and serious issues that face our Nation.






