Lincoln
In 1983, one of my pole vaulters qualified to the National Junior Olympic track meet. The meet was on the campus of the University of Nebraska, located in Lincoln. We strapped poles to the side of the car, and headed out across the Great Plains of Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska. After a thousand miles, we arrived in one of the hottest spots in the Nation. Really, Lincoln, Nebraska at the end of July bakes in the summer sun, surrounded by hundreds of miles of corn fields. That raises the humidity, making it a “perfect storm” of heat.
The meet didn’t go well competitively. But we did manage to find a great steakhouse, and catch a first run movie in the local theater. The movie was “WarGames” starring then-young Matthew Broderick. He was a teenaged computer hacker (by phone modem from his bedroom), in search of the best gaming computer to challenge. Without giving the whole movie away, Broderick manages to find a back door into the National Missile Defense computer. The “Game” Broderick is playing, is a nuclear attack simulation.
The problem, of course, is that the computer didn’t know it was a game, and the nuclear defense system went on full alert. As the “game” missiles descended on the Nation, a real nuclear response was about to be launched against a very real enemy. A child hacker was about to start World War III. You’ll have to watch the movie for the rest.
Kids in the DOGE
Lincoln, Nebraska; it was also the home to one of the “kids” who are the point of the spear of “DOGE”. That’s the illegitimate government “department” created by Donald Trump using an Executive Order. “DOGE”, the Department of Government Efficiency, is neither a Department nor a legal part of the government. But it is ruthlessly efficient. (OK, you have to be old enough to have attended the 1983 JO Nationals to know that the really ruthlessly efficient “department” is Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition, with a fanatical devotion to Elon Musk).
Elon Musk, one of the richest men in the world, heads “DOGE” (there wasn’t enough room at the top for Vivek Ramaswamy to stay). And he’s brought in a “crack team” of computer “whiz kids” to extract information from government computers. One of those “kids” dropped out of the University of Nebraska. Another just got out of high school, and was enrolled in Northeastern University. Like the teenaged gamer of “War Games”, these are the premier computer “hackers” of our time.
Maturity
The “point” kids are between 19 and 24. And they have names: Akash Bobba, Edward Coristine, Luke Farritor, Gautier Cole Killian, Gavin Kliger, and Ethan Straotran. Ethan was a “hackathon” contest” runner-up. Akash went to Cal-Berkley, and was an engineering “intern”. Edward just graduated from high school, but he was an intern at Musk’s own Neuralink last summer. Luke dropped out of Nebraska, but he was an intern at Space-X, another Musk company. Gavin attended Cal-Berkley, but more recently worked for an AI company called Databricks. Killian (he goes by his last name) was an engineer at Jump Trading, specializing in algorithmic high frequency financial trades (Wired).
These are the guys sent into the Treasury Department to access the US payment system. What’s in that system: tax data, Medicare and Medicaid data; tens of millions of US citizens addresses and financial information. We don’t necessarily know why they need that data. Don’t worry – right? It’s only DOGE.
These “whiz kids” are also analyzing the US Office of Personnel Management (the office that controls government payrolls) and the General Services Administration (controls government property). Don’t be surprised if they are cross-referencing the millions of names and financial figures against political records publicly available – like voter registration and political campaign donations.
Don’t Play
What could possibly go wrong? Why is it a concern that six, brilliant and obviously talented young men, all with direct links to Musk or conservative billionaire Peter Thiel (the Vice President’s mentor) should all of a sudden gain this unfettered access and power over the US Government agencies? In a Nation founded on the concept of checks and balances, the guys (and it’s all guys – Bro) have the ultimate power; the power of information, and no checks at all.
They have my information. They have your information. The “kids” can match tax information to political information to employment information. And they are loyal, to the “master Bro”, Elon.
Not to be crass, but acne is still a concern. Who knows what the outcome will be, but an old (very old to these kids) movie form 1983 might be instructive. As Joshua, the computer in “WarGames” said: “Strange Game. The only winning move is not to play”.
This was just brilliant. I had no idea where you were going from the title, or even a couple paragraphs in, but you really brought it home. Wow. I had no idea that Elon’s “strike team” was a bunch of wet behind the ears punks. But, I should have figured.