Graying in Pataskala

This is a “Sunday Story”. There’s no politics here, just some observations about a little neighborhood in a little town called Pataskala.

Summer Fix Up

It’s summertime in Pataskala. And this summer, besides having to cut the grass three times a week, there’s a new trend. 

Everyone’s home value is rocketing up. Sure, part of that’s inflation, but part is the economic boom that’s boosting the Columbus, Ohio area. Amazon, Microsoft, Google, Intel, Facebook (oops, I mean Meta), are all building on the east side of town – just beyond the outer belt. And that’s us; right where Pataskala is.  We part of the new Midwest “Silicon Valley”!!

How big a deal is it?  Our house value is up more than 80% in the last ten years.  Luckily the property taxes aren’t quite keeping up, though they’ve increased too.   So maybe those increased values make the owners feel like putting more effort into their homes.  We just power washed our twelve year-old vinyl siding and it came up great.  There’s no need for the expense of ripping all the old off and putting new on, not to talk about the disruption to five dogs from people pounding on the outside walls all day.  Two dogs were already freaked out from the groan of the power washer.  But others in the neighborhood are tearing even newer siding off and replacing it completely. 

That’s fine:  it makes the neighborhood look sharper. But there is one concern. 

Colours

Our house is “cream” (or “alabaster, chateau, or clay”). On one side is our neighbor’s newly painted brick and stucco.  It’s “off-white”(or “weathered white or melting icicles”). On the other side, their new siding is the color of an old red barn (maybe “mountain berry, or harvest red”). 

But several others decided to choose the same color.  Of course they say their houses are all different:  “seaport, granite, smoke or dove”. But to this old history teacher, they all look battleship gray. Remember those World War II movies; the USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay or the USS Arizona before December 7th?   US Navy Battleship Gray; fresh off the pier and ready for action. 

One of my sisters is an artist.  She has a “professional” eye.  When she looks at blue, she sees dozens of shades and hues, all carefully categorized and used in her work.  I’m sure if she looked down the street, she’d see all the differences in the “gray”.  But to my, untrained eye, blue is blue, and these are all just Battleship Gray – some darker, some lighter, but all gray.

And I have to admit, it looked sharp — On the first house. And it looked OK on the second.  But now  it’s going up on the third, I’m beginning to feel like we’re living in officers’ housing, here 566 miles from the nearest Naval base. 

My street should be renamed Battleship Row, even though the houses are more Frigate than Capital sized.   While gray is striking in contrast – it’s just gray when you put them all together. 

Words

And, by the way, there is the whole difficulty with the word “gray” too.  Is it “gray” or “grey”?  I had to do some research on that, and discovered that, as Bill Murray said in his famous soliloquy in the movie Meatballs; “…It just doesn’t matter”.   Either “g-r-a-y” or “g-r-e-y” is OK.  So what’s the problem?  Well, like a lot things involving my writing, it’s all Mom’s fault!!

Yep, here in the USA it’s Battleship G-R-A-Y.  In the Crayola box it’s listed as G-R-A-Y.  You can even order Battleship G-R-A-Y paint for your own equipment.   But – if you want fine English breakfast tea (or you’re a fan of Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Starship, Enterprise) you order Earl G-R-E-Y tea.  And F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote about G-R-E-Y days in This Side of Paradise:

“It was a grey day, that least fleshy of all weathers; a day of dreams and far hopes and clear visions”.

But, he was an American author.  Maybe he had an English/English teacher, or an English mother helping him fail spelling tests like me!!

Anyway, I’m glad my neighbors care about their homes.  It makes everyone try to “keep up with the Joneses”, and make their property look nicer.  And all these gray homes are making our house stand out; more than even the “Biden for President” sign in the front yard did a couple of years ago.  But it would be nice if they could find another shade.  How about a nice light blue; “robin’s egg, or turquoise”, or, — oh no: “greyed-out blue”.

The Sunday Story Series

Author: Marty Dahlman

I'm Marty Dahlman. After forty years of teaching and coaching track and cross country, I've finally retired!!! I've also spent a lot of time in politics, working campaigns from local school elections to Presidential campaigns.