Golf
I am not a golfer. Golf is one of the most frustrating athletic activities I’ve tried. It’s not that I can’t hit a “good” shot, it’s that every good shot is followed up by one going the wrong direction. Golf just isn’t enjoyable for me; I can walk outside in beautiful settings (and drink a beer) without ruining it with golf clubs.
But I did try for a couple of years, dutifully going to the golf course and putting in “my time”. And while it had nothing to do with golf, I did learn some things. One of the most important: don’t screw around with geese. If a goose wants your ball, GIVE IT TO HIM!! I’m not sure how smart geese are, but I do know that once they determined your former ball is now their present egg, it’s best to drop a new one and head on down the line.
Geese are determined, and at full wing-span and running straight at you, very intimidating. Sure, in the end you would probably win a full-on battle with your nine-iron, but at what cost? Blood, feathers, spectacle and probable removal from the golf “community” for eternity. So leave the geese alone, and let them have their “eggs”, even if it’s a fancy Titleist that cost $15.
Golden Eggs
Aesop told the famous tale of “The Goose and the Golden Egg”. The story goes like this: a man had a goose that laid a golden egg each day. He took the egg to the market, and made a good profit. But the man got greedy, and wanted more eggs. So he killed the goose and cut it open to find more. But, alas, there were no more golden eggs. He killed the goose that laid the golden eggs, out-smarted by his own greed.
Into our language came the phrase, “Don’t kill the goose that lays the golden eggs”. If you’ve got a good going, don’t mess it up and lose everything.
Florida Man
Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida is a man used to getting his way. He was a successful collegiate baseball player on the Yale University starting nine. He was a successful academic, going to Harvard Law school, and serving in the US Navy. While still serving, he was appointed an Assistant US Attorney in middle Florida, and soon after his honorable discharge he was elected to Congress.
He was narrowly elected Governor of Florida in 2018, then overwhelmingly reelected in 2022. The Governor is using his powers and a gerrymandered Republican super-majority in the state legislature, to make Florida his “golden goose”. From “anti-woke” and “Don’t Say Gay” laws to ignoring Covid protocols, DeSantis uses Florida as his “example” of how he would run the United States as President. The Governor hasn’t “tasted failure” in his life: to mix fables, everything he’s touched has turned to gold.
Disney
The Disney company is a huge economic presence in Florida. Just in state and local taxes, Disney pays over $1.1 Billion a year. Disney employs over 75,000 Floridians, not just at Disney World, but at Disney Resorts, Disney cruises, and other Disney owned businesses throughout the state. Disney World alone has an appraised value of over $2 Billion.
And Disney brings in millions of tourists to Florida each year: tourists who stay in non-Disney hotels, drive on Florida toll roads, eat at Florida restaurants, and visit other Florida businesses (NBC). The Disney businesses bring an estimated $75.2 Billion into Florida each year (Tallahassee). Florida has a total gross domestic product of $1.07 trillion, Disney represents over 7% of that total (Statista).
Disney, a multi-national corporation, has a huge media presence in the United States. The Disney Corporation owns the ABC network, the Disney Channel, ESPN and ESPN2, ABC Family, Fusion TV, Disney Junior and Radio Disney. And Disney still makes and markets movies, including their 2012 purchase of the Star Wars franchise. So Disney is so much bigger than just Disney World. The total value of the company is over $200 Billion. Disney World represents one percent of that value (Statista).
So why in the world of Aesop, Mickey Mouse, and Golden Egged Geese; would DeSantis pick a fight with Disney Corporation?
This Goose Won’t Die
The Disney Corporation had the audacity to “buck” DeSantis on the “don’t say Gay” law. DeSantis demanded corporate obedience, Disney responded with rainbow colors and union protections for gay employees. When DeSantis didn’t get “his way” with Disney World, he threatened to take away their “special status” in Florida law.
Disney World is so big, it takes up a “county’s” worth of land. In their original agreement with the state, the area encompassing Disney World was designated the Reedy Creek Improvement District. Essentially, Disney World was the governing entity, including responsibility for police, fire, sewer, water and roads in their territory. The Board of Disney World (Reedy Creek) is the actual governing body with legal jurisdiction.
Who Pays
Governor DeSantis passed legislation to end the agreement, and place his handpicked representatives on the Reedy Creek board. But before they could officially take office, the Reedy Creek Board perpetuated their agreement with Disney, nullifying the state legislation.
Meanwhile, even if DeSantis can rest control, the state government will find itself responsible for roads, police, fire, water and sewer, instead of the Disney Corporation. Sure, Disney might have to pay more taxes, but in the end the state is likely to pay more for services than it gets in taxes. If DeSantis goes through with trying to “ruin” Disney World, with a possible state wetland or even a prison built nearby; he will be, as my mother used to say, “Cutting off his nose to spite his face”. The big loser of screwing with Disney is DeSantis’s constituents – the people of Florida.
Cooked Goose
Disney is bigger in Florida than even Ron DeSantis. Like violating the “etiquette” of the golf course, the Governor is taking a nine iron to the Disney goose. The problem is, like the banks, “that goose is too big to kill”, and unlikely to lay eggs for DeSantis either.
But the man who “can do no wrong” is convinced that attacking “woke” Disney will make him the darling of the MAGA Republicans who control the primary process. So far though, all he’s done is make Disney look smart, and DeSantis look – well – just Goofy. As far as Florida is concerned, Disney is laying an egg every year; in taxes, in income, and in helping to drive the economy. DeSantis might somehow be able to fend off the Disney Goose with his Nine Iron of a legislature, but in the end, you know what he’s doing.
He’s killing the Florida goose that lays the golden eggs. The headline will ultimately read:
“Florida Man Kills Golden Goose, and cooks his own”.
