Let Biden be Biden

Let Biden be Biden

(OK – so when not looking for Hamilton references, I fall back on The West Wing!!)

I saw a post on Facebook from a former student and current friend the other day.  He was in the locker room at the gym and was shocked when a man started a conversation with him, without any clothes on.  The guy was talking to him, and he was NAKED!!  

At sixty-two, I grew up in a different era.  I was a swimmer, and a wrestler, and a track sprinter; being naked in a locker room was always just part of the deal.  Even in the locker room at Dad’s tennis club, it was completely normal to have a conversation with strangers, some much older, with little or nothing on.  It wasn’t that we ”hung out” naked, but there wasn’t a rush to cover up, and it didn’t seem to get in the way of discussing the  “play of the day” or any other topic of conversation (avoiding saying that came up!!)

I coached high school athletes until two years ago, and I am well aware that times have changed.   Even in wrestling, where nudity at weigh-ins was not only expected but required, the rules now require everyone to be in uniform on the scales.  There is no such thing as being naked in a locker room; kids even wear swimming suits in the shower.  When a full change is required, it is quick, and furtive.

That’s not the only “norm” that’s changed in the world today.  I am a “contact” kind of guy, a hand on the shoulder, a pat on the back (not on the butt, I never cared for that), the occasional joyful hug, and for people I’m close to, the forehead to forehead “talk.”  I’ve lived that way for sixty-two years, and never intentionally “invaded” someone’s privacy.   In fact, I tried to learn to recognize which folks were uncomfortable with contact, and respect their boundaries.  

It has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with finding a way to relate, to be compassionate and empathetic.  It was a hug when my best pole vaulter broke the school record, whether it was Kyle or Sammi.  It was an arm across the shoulders when we failed, and a forehead-to-forehead talk to regain focus when everything was going wrong.   And sometimes even a “Gibbs slap” (gently) to the back of the head for bonehead moves (like losing a $350 pole vault pole.)

There’s a picture of Vice President Biden forehead to forehead with a woman, deep in conversation. The Washington Post’s Pulitzer Prize winner Jonathan Capehart was head to head with Biden too. It’s not about sex, it’s about relationships.  It’s the way of Joe Biden, and the way of his generation that is all too quickly passing.

So, while I’m not in locker rooms often anymore, and change in them even less, I know that no matter what I’m comfortable with, others aren’t comfortable with nudity even in a place to change clothes.  And while I’m not coaching anymore either, I also am aware that what seems to me like a natural extension of personal contact may now be considered violating someone else’s space.  

Joe Biden will figure it out.  He’ll do what needs to be done politically; he’s already figured out how to acknowledge the concerns of the women involved and accept responsibility without apologizing for doing something he didn’t (and doesn’t) consider wrong.  We know he’ll “slip up” along the way, it’s too much a part of him.  The millennial media will eat it up, and Democrats will have a crisis moment.  

There are lots of Democrats running for President (and even a quasi-Democrat named Bernie Sanders, who seems to only be in the Party when it suits his needs.)  There are fantastic women running: Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, Elizabeth Warren and Kristen Gillibrand.  There are dynamic men running: Cory Booker, Pete Buttigieg, Julian Castro, Jay Inslee, Mike Bennet (I hope, he’s pretty good) and, of course, Beto O’Rourke. There will be a lot for the Party to sift through, and a wide-ranging spectrum of ideas to choose from.  Hopefully, the Party gets the most important point: we need to choose a candidate that can defeat Donald Trump.

But if Joe Biden really does become the Democratic candidate for President, we will have a great contrast. Two men of the same generation; one who reaches out to people in order to connect with them, and one who reaches out solely to pleasure himself.  That’s a contrast that Democrats should be able to win with.