Bro Code Rules
There is a set of rules among boys and men called the “Bro Code.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen it written down, they are what sociologists call “mores,” but they are none-the-less real. We learn them in young adolescence as we develop close relationships with other guys, and then start to get interested in romance.
There is no one closer than “bros.” They stick together, they share secrets, they get in trouble, they try things, both legal and illegal, they are the brothers that “bros” represent. They sometimes fight, but in the event of trouble, they have each other’s backs. In fact the true test of how much of a “bro” you are, is when there is a fight. There are those that find a way out, and there are those that find a way to stand up. Stand up guys are true “bros.”
Part of the code governs what to do when friends are both interested in the same romantic relationship. The code states that the first to express interest, should get to pursue the romance. But the code also recognizes that sometimes love (and lust) trumps all other rules. It allows forgiveness for failing to follow the code when it comes to love.
And the final part of the code covers when one of the “bros” falls in love, and falls away. It recognizes that romantic relationships take all attention and time, and that when it happens, that “bro” will not live up to the other obligations of the code. If the romantic relationship is temporary, the code allows the “bro” to be forgiven and come back. If it is more permanent, then the “former bro” will be forever remembered as part of the group, but no longer a “bro.”
The alliance that developed in response to the Cold War is like “bros.” The World War II “bros” of the United Kingdom, the United States, France and Canada was joined by Germany and Japan to become the most influential alliance in the world. They had each other’s back, in Korea, in Vietnam, in Iraq and Afghanistan. They had arguments over the Middle East and other issues, but they stood together against the Soviet Union and Communism.
And like any “bro group” they looked for one nation to be the leader. The United States, the most powerful and most wealthy, used its strength to pursue the goals of the group. Since the 1950’s, this group has been together, surviving falling outs, romances with other groups, wars and depressions. They’ve also had great successes including the end of the Cold War and the fall of Communism.
Now, one of the group seems to be in love with someone else. President Trump is leading the United States to love affairs with autocrats and dictators: Vladimir Putin, Kim Jung-un, Recep Erdogan, Mohammad bin Salman, Xi Jinping. Even Benjamin Netanyahu, like Trump, can act without much input from his government. Trump is a “personal guy,” he relates to the world by how he feels about their leaders. And, since Trump views himself as a decisive and strong “bro,” he relates to other leaders who can make decisions on their own without consultation or vote.
My expectation is that Trump views the G 7 leaders this way.
- Justin Trudeau of Canada is an Obama type liberal, and a kid.
- Macron is a slick operator, but in the end, way too French. Trump really doesn’t like to hold hands, with anyone.
- Angela Merkel is a woman who dares to compete with him for leadership.
- Theresa May is weak both at home and abroad.
- Shinzo Abe, a good golfer, and is doing a good job of “schmoozing,” but the Japanese gave up their military. Trump cannot stand weakness, ask Puerto Rico.
So it shouldn’t be a surprise that President Trump has treated the G7 disrespectfully. He did the same thing with NATO (most of the same folks) and even with the European Union, seen by Trump as the antithesis of decisive.
The “G6” is complaining that Trump is walking away from the “bro group.” He thinks they don’t really have a choice, that the US is such an important “bro” that they will stick with the group, regardless of what he does. And besides, he wants to start a new group, one that has the power to do anything it wants. Trump, Putin, Xi; that’s the “bro group” he wants.
If he and his “theorists” (Bannon, Miller, and Bolton) get their way, the world will be a very different place. The US will be aligned with nations where power rather than ideology is the critical factor. But if the US turns back from the Trump Doctrine towards the “bro group” of democracy, we can only hope that “bro rules” apply. Maybe they will take us back.
