Trump International Hotel, Pyongyang
This is a work of fiction. But today it’s burgers, tomorrow, who knows? If it were true, would anyone be surprised?
Breaking News – Today – Potomac Falls, Virginia (Trump National Golf Club)
President Donald Trump made a surprise announcement about negotiations with North Korea from the ninth tee of his Trump National Golf Course. The President revealed plans to build a Trump branded international hotel in Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea. Mr. Trump spoke glowingly of the multi-national financing, including large investments by Chinese and Russian banks.
“We have gotten the biggest players in Korea to put their money into North Korea instead of their troops. My friends Presidents Xi of China and Putin of Russia have joined in making this happen. We will all have enough invested in the project to make it worth avoiding a nuclear war. It’s a great deal!!”
The North Koreans, who have been desperately looking for a way to end economic sanctions, spoke exuberantly about the new construction. The spokesman for the Supreme Leader stated:
“The Supreme Leader Kim is very pleased that President Trump, his dear friend, finally has recognized the economic and tourist values of one of the world’s great cities, Pyongyang. In return for his investment, the Peoples’ Republic will end nuclear testing at the facility we recently destroyed, and will give our used nuclear weapons to the United Nations.”
The Presidential announcement follows a frantic series of negotiations among the various powers. China gained a series of economic incentives from the United States, most notably the removal of sanctions against ZTE, the giant mobile phone company. And while the incentives that produced Russian involvement in the deal have not been revealed, the Russian banks do have a big interest in the success of the President’s initiative, freeing up investment money frozen by US sanctions.
Analysis of the agreement is still incomplete. The North Koreans, in addition to getting a break from the long-term economic sanctions, also now have a “hostage.” The United States would be less likely to attack Pyongyang if a large US economic investment, particularly one bearing the President’s name, is located there. Chinese and Russian financial involvement would also increase the stakes of any military action.
It is unclear whether the North Koreans have actually agreed to “de-nuclearize” the Korean peninsula. Their statements don’t seem to include the ballistic missile development program, nor unused nuclear weapons or materials.
Democrats claimed that this is just another case of the President mixing his personal finances with the office of the President. Richard Painter, former legal counsel to President George W Bush and now a registered Minnesota Democrat, stated,
“…this is just another instance of Trump violating the emoluments clause of the Constitution, using the office of the Presidency to make a personal profit. Congress should immediately begin impeachment proceedings.”
Trump press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was able to make a brief statement after the President teed off with friend, Newsmax publisher Chris Ruddy, slicing his shot down the fairway into the rough. Sanders stated that the Trump Organization was fully behind this effort, and that Donald Trump Jr. would immediately leave for Pyongyang to start the process. When asked by media if Trump Jr.’s departure was timed to avoid potential indictment by the Mueller investigation, Sanders replied:
“While the media is constantly obsessing on the Mueller investigation, now known as Spygate because the FBI put a spy in the Trump campaign, President Trump and the White House are more interested in working for world peace, continuing to rebuild the American economy after the Obama disaster, and freeing Americans from regulation. Donald Trump Jr. is willing to sacrifice his time by going to North Korea and building for peace, and any attempt by the Mueller investigation to reach him is simply another attempt by Democrats to obstruct the President.”
