My Friends are Cops

Called Out

I was called out on social media the other night.  After weeks of discussion about the police, and Black Lives Matter, and what to do about America:  one of my friends, a law enforcement officer, wearily said about my posts: 

“Sometimes I wish I could read this blog and there would be something positive spoken about our Law Enforcement Officers who protect this great Country.”

I responded then by saying that I’ve written about “you guys” being the “first ones in” during a school shooting, and about how he, a School Resource Officer, in particular was “the right man in the right job”.  I’ve said it in “Facebook debate” and I actually did write that in my blog.

My Friends

But he did hit a nerve.  I have friends, good friends, best friends, who are police officers.  They are people I know well. I’ve taught them, coached them, been to their weddings, and worked beside them.  I’ve been to the funeral of a policeman killed in the line of duty.  His son, a former part of our track team, is on that same police force today.  

And I know those guys.  They all have their good points and their flaws, but they all care about people.  I’ve seen many of them in action, some as police officers, some in other roles, working with folks of all races and backgrounds.  The idea that “all police officers are racist” is simply not true.  These guys aren’t.  And most have never even fired a gun in the line of duty. 

In my eight years as the Dean of Students of a 1200 kid high school in charge of student discipline, I got to know the police as supporting my job.  We were on the “same side”.  We didn’t want violence in the school, or drugs, or theft or bullying.  And, should the worst happen and the school was attacked, I knew they would be the first in line to try to stop it, even at the cost of their own lives. The strategy was as a result of the carnage at Columbine – the first man on scene goes in. 

Compassion

I also saw them care about kids and adults, about the plight of folks that “the system” failed.  I’ve had long talks with them about what we could do to make kids’ lives better.  It didn’t have anything to do with “the law”, nor with the race, gender, sexual orientation, or the rest of the list.  It was about helping individuals, even those who broke the law, even taken into custody, hands cuffed behind their back in my office.

They are some of the finest people I know.  They “have your back”, and are unswervingly loyal to their friends.  In a crisis those officers are cool, and decisive, and don’t “lose it” the way we are seeing some cops do in videos today.   I think, to be honest, their strength and judgment represent most police officers. 

Culture

I am a retired track coach.  I spent forty years, most of them as a head coach (I was twenty-five, a “kid coach” really, when I got the job). As the “person in charge” I learned a lot about how “the culture” of an organization can impact the success of that group.  On our team, we tried to develop a culture where your teammates always knew you supported them.  The saying was, “…you don’t have to love your teammate, but you do need to back him”.  It was track and field; there usually weren’t huge crowds at the meets, nor a lot of pressure from parents and peers to be successful.  But to know that forty other guys on the team had your back, and you had theirs, meant that you’d go “beyond yourself” to perform, if for no other reason, just not to let them down.

What’s Right

That culture was generally a “good” thing, and it certainly generated a lot of success over the years.  But, as I matured as a Coach and as a Teacher, I also found the danger in that culture.  We all got so focused on backing each other and succeeding, on going “citius, altius, fortius,” (higher, faster, stronger) that sometimes it was easy to overlook personal mistakes.  Was someone breaking team rules, were they stealing or using drugs?  But they were your teammate, your “star”, how could you “let down the team” by calling them out on their behavior?  A legendary basketball coach once said; “I don’t have rules, the best players always break them”.  So what did our team culture say about it when they did?

It took a while, but our team came down on the side of “doing what’s right”.  It turned out, our team “family” was more important than “the wins”.  What our family was about was each other.  So we took our losses when a good athlete was removed from the team, and could still look each other in the eye and know that we did the right thing.

Survival

But what if the culture isn’t about wins, losses, or a “team”.  What if it’s about literal survival?  In that one flashing moment when a police officer’s life is threatened; “having your back” means saving that life.  When that becomes so ingrained, it’s hard to imagine that much else can break through.  It’s easy to just “have their back” on everything else, right or wrong.

How did that culture happen?  How did policing become so much a “blue against everyone” world?  I don’t have an answer to that, but I know what it’s done.  It’s enforced a culture of insulation, of protecting “brother officers” from even their own unacceptable actions.  Why?  Because, someday they may have to physically protect you.  There can’t be hesitation.

I love my friends who are policemen.  I know they are decent, caring, compassionate people.  And I expect most policemen are. That’s why they wanted the job in the first place. I trust them to police our society, and trust them to do the right thing. In fact, I would trust them with my life.

But I also know that the culture of the institution they work in is broken.

I hope they can see that, and I hope they can see that I still stand with them, even as I stand with Black Lives Matter.

Author: Marty Dahlman

I'm Marty Dahlman. After forty years of teaching and coaching track and cross country, I've finally retired!!! I've also spent a lot of time in politics, working campaigns from local school elections to Presidential campaigns.