{"id":4595,"date":"2021-08-13T08:28:29","date_gmt":"2021-08-13T12:28:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dahlman.online\/?p=4595"},"modified":"2021-08-13T08:28:33","modified_gmt":"2021-08-13T12:28:33","slug":"my-cousin-brendan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dahlman.online\/index.php\/2021\/08\/13\/my-cousin-brendan\/","title":{"rendered":"My Cousin Brendan"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My cousin Brendan O\u2019Connor passed away Wednesday.  He died in Tampa, Florida, at eighty-three years of age after a prolonged illness.  It\u2019s unnerving:  I never thought of my first cousin as \u201cold\u201d.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I first met Brendan when I was six.\u00a0\u00a0We were living in Cincinnati in the early 1960\u2019s, and Brendan came \u201cto visit\u201d. My mother was from England, and her large family was still there.\u00a0\u00a0Brendan was the son of her oldest brother Leslie, and like his sister before, he came to visit America and stay with his aunt and uncle.\u00a0\u00a0It was a family tradition.\u00a0\u00a0Before \u201cthe war\u201d (World War II) Mom stayed with Leslie and his wife Marjorie in Belgium, and she was happy to repay the favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leslie was killed flying his personal aero plane in 1959, so when Brendan arrived in 1962, fresh out of the British Army, the accident was still fresh.\u00a0\u00a0But I didn\u2019t know about all that.\u00a0\u00a0What I knew was that this HUGE man, my cousin, was here.\u00a0\u00a0You see, I would grow up to be by far the tallest in our immediate family at 5\u20197\u201d \u2013 so we are short group.\u00a0\u00a0When Brendan arrived at 6\u20192\u201d or more, he seemed enormous, and very climbable.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brendan stayed for a month or two, exploring Cincinnati, then I think he went back home to England.  But a few months later he was back, this time to stay and make his life here in America.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brendan ultimately took US citizenship, but he was always, as Gilbert and Sullivan would say, \u201can Englishman!!\u201d.\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0He was a big man, kind hearted, with that British accent.\u00a0\u00a0When he came in the door there was always a big \u201cHel\u2014Lo!!!\u201d, always two parts with the pause in the middle.\u00a0\u00a0He became a salesman, finding a niche in selling artificial flowers.\u00a0\u00a0First it was in Cincinnati, then he moved out all through the Midwest. Everyone knew the big Englishman with a trunk full of flowers and a hearty laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a long time, Brendan was \u201con the road\u201d, travelling from town to town selling his products.\u00a0\u00a0When I turned sixteen, I bought my first car from him.\u00a0\u00a0It was a 1969 Plymouth Fury III, and it was only three years old \u2013 a new car to me.\u00a0\u00a0But the Plymouth already had well over a hundred thousand miles.\u00a0\u00a0Bren covered his \u201cterritory\u201d many times, across Iowa and Kansas, Indiana and Illinois.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But he always stayed in touch, close to the family and particularly to Mom.\u00a0\u00a0When he fell asleep at the wheel and literally drove into a train, Bren left his totaled car in Kansas and came straight to Cincinnati to recover.\u00a0\u00a0And he was always back to Mom\u2019s house for holidays and birthdays, and especially Christmas.\u00a0\u00a0Mom made everything \u201cEnglish\u201d for Christmas.\u00a0\u00a0For Brendan it was just like home.\u00a0\u00a0He was a part of our family, and he was definitely Mom’s favorite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brendan found Carolyn, and they got married and settled in Chicago.  We saw a bit less of him then, but still stay connected.  And there were the \u201chappenstances\u201d (what Mom would call one of her \u201ccoincidences\u201d).  Mom and Dad, my sister Terry and her husband and kids, and I were on summer vacation on Cape Cod.  Brendan knew we were there, but no plans were made.  I don\u2019t think he even knew we were at a house in Chatham.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were exploring, and stopped at a grocery store.  As we got our supplies, we heard a familiar voice on the other side of the shelves.  \u201cMom \u2013 I think Brendan and Carolyn are here!\u201d  There was a joyous reunion in the parking lot!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brendan became involved in the \u201cBritish\u201d club in Chicago.  And while he was proud of his English heritage, he also was proud of his adopted country, now thirty years his home.  He applied for American citizenship, and was honored to take on the obligations of our country.  So he had both, the Englishman and now the American.  It was a good life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately Carolyn got sick, leaving Brendan a widower far too soon.\u00a0\u00a0He was just sad, alone.\u00a0\u00a0So he closed up his Chicago operation and moved to Tarpon Springs, on the Gulf of Mexico just north of Tampa.\u00a0\u00a0He got involved there too, President of the Tarpon Springs Kiwanis and part of the Florida governing board.\u00a0\u00a0And he met Mary, a retired school administrator and also a widow.\u00a0\u00a0They soon fell in love and married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They found a beautiful house tucked away on along the golf course, opening to their own swimming pool in the back.  Brendan and Mary were more than just Florida retirees.  They stayed involved in the community and church.  They went on cruises with their friends, and entertained poolside at their home.  And they stayed connected to his family here in Ohio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when Brendan got sick, it was Mary who stood by him, taking care and managing hospitals, nursing homes and doctors.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I last saw Brendan at his 80th birthday party, at their home in Tarpon Springs.\u00a0\u00a0Family was \u201crepresented\u201d \u2013 I drove over from Sebastian where Jenn and I were camping, my sister Pat flew in from New York, and Brendan\u2019s nephew David came in from England.\u00a0\u00a0Brendan was already battling illness, but we all had a good time reminiscing about the past and avoiding present politics.\u00a0\u00a0At breakfast Sunday morning, Brendan, aware of his own mortality, asked me if I would do the eulogy for his funeral.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Funerals are complicated in this age of COVID.  There will be a memorial service in Tarpon Springs sometime next month, and I hope in can attend.  But I made a promise to a cousin,  a friend, an American and an Englishman.  He led a good life, an adventurous life, and a life that made those around him better.  What more can anyone ask for?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rest in well-earned Peace Brendan:\u00a0\u00a0we will miss your \u201cHel-Lo!!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My cousin Brendan O\u2019Connor passed away Wednesday.  He died in Tampa, Florida, at eighty-three years of age after a prolonged illness.  It\u2019s unnerving:  I never thought of my first cousin as \u201cold\u201d.   I first met Brendan when I was six.\u00a0\u00a0We were living in Cincinnati in the early 1960\u2019s, and Brendan came \u201cto visit\u201d. My mother was from England, … Continue reading “My Cousin Brendan”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nMy Cousin Brendan : Our America - Essays on Politics and American Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My cousin Brendan passed away Wednesday. 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